of obsessions and perfection

If it's not him, it will never be him no matter how much I obsess about him. But if in case, just in case, he's for me -- he'll always be for me no matter how often I set him free..



I'm falling for someone i barely know. again. stupid, i know, but there's just something about him that's diferent from all those i'd 'fallen for' before, and i just can't help but think (and feel) that this is somehow more than just a crush-turned-obsession.

firstly, he actually knows me. well, he-knows-my-name knows me. but still. and we've had conversations already -- conversations which actually lasted more than five minutes each. and we've eaten together. well not like in a date or anything -- it was just two people eating from the same place at the same time -- but again, still. he's on my friendster, and, although i don't think he uses it, my y!m. and he actually says hi to me whenever we see each other in the corridors at school, and smiles at me, even.

i met him through a common friend, whose name i'd best not mention -- this is the internet, after all -- who waved me over to where they had been sitting, that one day that the professor in a particular class decided not to show up. that common friend then proceeded to introduced us, and, over the rest of that semester, facilitated -- for lack of better word -- discussions between us (and a few other acquaintances occassionally ) regarding social issues and whatnot.

we had exchanged numbers on another professor-less day after that, and forwarded text messages on and off during the rest of the semester. we had mostly no contact during the summer, until one night, when he bid me goodnight. this started an almost nightly exchange of goodnight messeges, which eventually branched into goodmorning ones, which became a mostly daily text-forwarding thing.

he just forwards stuff, mostly, and, well, i can't help but wish that he meant all those sweet things he sends.


he's smart. and opinionated. and his ideas and thoughts are mostly original too. and he reads for leisure, or at least i think he does. and he's a gentleman. damn.

he keeps his hair short, but it's so straight, and it looks so soft, and i just want to run my fingers through them. and he's clean. i haven't smelled him yet, but he looks like he probably smelled nice. and he's cute, which, personally, i think is just a bonus.



damn. now i'm all gushy.